D-day for the black dog

When you have depression, telling someone (or anyone) how you feel can be daunting. It can be a difficult step to take as there is still a fair degree of stigma and misunderstanding about mental illness.

Shrouded in fog
(Photo by: Simon Lawrence at Dreamstime.com)

Friday of the week before last marked D-day for me.  The D in question could stand for so many things... Depression itself, Daunting, Diagnosis, Doubt, Doctor's appointment and even Disappointment.  In my previous post - Chasing down the black dog - I blogged about my decision to go and see the doctor.  I've recognised that my symptoms are at the stage that needs help; if I ignored them any further I would most certainly allow the fog of depression to envelop me completely and this is something I want to avoid.

Whilst I've blogged openly about my own experiences of depression and shared my views through social media, I hadn't spoken to my family (with the exception of my husband), friends, employer or colleagues about its recurrence...until the week before last.  Over the years I've had varying responses when I've told my family, friends, colleagues and employers about my depression.  Mostly, they have been supportive, and only occasionally have I had to counter some of the ignorance and stigma that surrounds mental illness.

A few days prior to my doctor's appointment, I told my CEO about the reason for my appointment.  My CEO was amazingly supportive and understanding, expressing concern and reassuring me that I should listen to the doctor's advice - even if it meant time off work. I told my colleagues too and although they may not have been 100% sure how to react, they too were supportive.

I found telling my employer meant that a huge weight felt like it had been lifted from my shoulders.  All I needed to do next was to turn up for my doctor's appointment.  My usual doctor has left the practice so I was seeing a doctor that I have only seen a few times in the past.

My doctor was very understanding and a her view, thankfully, coincided with mine - my depression is purely down to an imbalance of the chemicals in my brain and medication will help restore and stabilise the correct balance.

On top of prescribing medication, she also signed me off work for a few weeks. This is something I had wanted to avoid but in order to recover and to allow the medication to work, this period of rest is necessary.  My employer, husband, family and friends have all been very understanding and having taken the step of telling people and seeking help, I do feel that the fog which surrounds will begin to lift.

It's still early days with the medication as they take several weeks to become effective.  During the first week I did suffer with a number of side effects - the only one of which is welcome is the dulling of my appetite! However, as this may lead to losing some weight, so it's something I can easily live with...every cloud, eh?  I still struggle with some things and realise that the medication needs time to work - there is no magic wand that simply make my depression vanish.

So, as much as it's a cliché, I'm taking each day as it comes. Some days I'm fine and want to engage in 'normal' activities such as walking the dogs and speaking to friends; other days I'm not.  These are the days when I watch favourite films and snuggle up with the hounds. I struggle with the guilt I feel on these days for generally feeling useless but am lucky that my husband is very supportive (which at times makes me feel even more guilty).

At least by letting people know, it does mean I don't have to hide behind a mask everyday.  It doesn't, however, mean I need to be treated with kid gloves either - just some understanding that I may not be to up my 'usual self'. You can't catch depression by talking to me but you may gain some understanding as to what it means to live with it.

If you're reading this blog and think (or know) that you have depression, please don't think you're alone. It does affect 1 in 4 of us and there are so many organisations which can help.  Taking the first step of telling someone can be scary but once that step is taken, it is (albeit another cliché) a step on the road to recovery.

Organisations that can help:

SANE, Mental Health Charity - http://www.sane.org.uk/
MIND - http://www.mind.org.uk/
The Blurt Foundation - http://blurtitout.org/
The Black Dog Tribe - http://www.blackdogtribe.com/

From a whisper to a bite - Pushing a dog too far

Many, many years ago before I knew any different I thought Cesar Millan, the Dog Whisperer, understood dogs.  I used to watch the Dog Whisperer and even bought his book - Be the Pack Leader...Fast forward several years, university studies, many read books about dog behaviour and training, lots of dog seminars, and dog training courses and I realise I was duped. If you're still a fan of Cesar, read on...

National Geographic is screening the last ever series of the Dog Whisperer and the trailers are now hitting TV screens.  One of these is a trailer showing Holly – a Labrador Retriever – who is showing resource guarding around food.  This trailer has already caused quite a stir (no doubt what the TV producers wanted) and has been blogged about very eloquently and succinctly by Nicole Wilde on her blog Wilde About Dogs. Nicole is a great dog trainer and author, her methods are humane and her books are easy to read, practical and grounded in fact and the science behind reward based training methods.

There’s no doubt that Cesar has great communication skills but they’re definitely not with dogs – he often seems to be blind to what dogs are very clearly communicating to him. The video trailer shows Cesar working with Holly to ‘cure’ her of her food guarding…the result?  Extremely uncomfortable and upsetting viewing and a bite to Cesar himself.  One more dog with a bite history…one more dog labelled as dangerous due to out-dated, ill-informed and downright unnecessary training methods.


After 20+ years of working in the PR/media/marketing world, I should know better.  TV programmes are edited a certain way, journalistic bias does exist and in TV land it’s all about ratings.  With the Dog Whisperer programmes, strip away the veneer, editing, emotive music and voice overs and what I’m now left with is a bitter taste in my mouth and tears in my eyes when I see his ‘rehabilitation’ methods in action.  

What amazes me most is that Cesar is heard saying “I didn’t see that coming.”  Really?  I think most pet dog owners could see how upset the dog was and that a bite WAS likely to happen.  Rather than give Holly the space she was asking for, Cesar continued to posture, intimidate, threaten and invade her space.  Any other person would have backed off.  Holly was so clearly showing every warning sign and communication signal in a dog’s repertoire to say ‘leave me alone’… ‘I’m uncomfortable’ … until - in Cesar’s eyes and without warning – she had no choice left but to bite.

Fear, intimidation, coercion and the causing of pain have no place in dog training – ever.  When Cesar says a dog is ‘calm submissive,’ it is really Dog Whisperer code for a dog that has shut down and cannot function.  Cesar often uses flooding techniques when he’s working with reactive/problem dogs.  He continually exposes them to the very thing they are afraid of, with no let out until, in his words, ‘they’re calm submissive.’  I’m pretty sure if you trapped me in a room with my worst fear, with no escape route, and kept exposing me to more and more of the very thing I’m afraid of, I too would become ‘calm submissive’.  I would shut down both mentally and physically to block it out.

In Holly’s video he’s dealing with food guarding.  Let’s look at a human analogy…I like my food, I don’t mind sharing it (most of the time) if I’m asked.  However, if I’d just ordered my favourite pizza, taken a bite and then the waiter came and whipped it away, I’d be a tad confused and somewhat miffed.  If he brought it back and say, I had another few bites, then he took it away again – with no warning – I’d start to feel a little angry (and be making a mental note never to go that pizza restaurant again). I’d probably be trying to ask him why, or covering my plate/holding onto it whenever he walked by.  If this scenario was repeated over and over again during the course of the evening, I would reach the end of my tether and make a scene, or resort to physical abuse as a last resort.  So why would a dog react differently?

Holly's food guarding issues could have been dealt with through a behaviour modification programme, using counter conditioning and desensitisation techniques.  It may not make for the most exciting TV viewing but it would certainly not push Holly over her threshold to bite and, given time, it would make approaches to her food bowl non-threatening and therefore eventually eliminate the need to act aggressively.

If there’s any time that the ‘please don’t try these techniques at home’ warning is needed, it’s with this show.  These techniques won’t make the problem go away. They may seem to work but more often than not they will just suppress the unwanted behaviour, and another unwanted behaviour will take its place.

There are plenty of organisations within the UK that have qualified dog trainers and behaviour experts who can help with training and behaviour problems.  If you have a problem with your dog and you’re not sure what to do, please don’t try to ‘fix it’ yourself.  Both the Association of Pet Behaviour Counsellors and the Association of Pet Dog Trainers have accredited behaviour counsellors and trainers who can help.

Addendum - Slow motion break down of the video

Watching the video footage of Holly's 'rehabilitation' in real time is upsetting enough but watching it in slow motion, even more so.  So, you may ask, why am I sharing slow motion footage?  Well if there was ever any doubt in your mind about the techniques being used or what Holly was communicating to Cesar, this slowed down video with captions cannot leave you with any doubt.

If you have a dog with a behaviour issue such as food or resource guarding I implore you not to follow misguided advice or attempt to 'cure it' using techniques you've seen on the TV.  Please contact a qualified and accredited dog trainer or behaviour counsellor.