The Final Farewell

Today I found myself making a decision I dreaded, and one which I had hoped not to make until the New Year.  My well loved and aged Taz cat (affectionately known as Tazzie) had to be put to sleep.

It hardly seems just over a year ago that I was in the same situation with my first cat, Chivers. I had always thought that Chivers would outlive Tazzie, but it wasn't to be.

I adopted Tazzie in 1992 from the appropriately named, Cat Orphanage in Billingham.  Her loud purr and sandpaper-like licks won my heart from the first moment I cuddled her. Tazzie was only about 8 months old when I adopted her, but like many poor un-neutered cats she had already had a litter of kittens and had endured a pretty tough start to life.

Tazzie, the food & drink cat burglar

 
Tazzie was the original cat burglar - especially where food was concerned. Despite always being well fed by me, she couldn't get rid of the instincts that I suspect were ingrained into her every fibre when she was a stray.

I will always remember Tazzie at a family barbecue, with her perfectly manicured talon swiping a sausage from under my Dad's nose. To this day, I don't know who looked the more surprised - my Dad for losing a sausage or Tazzie for her tasty foodie victory.

It wasn't all plain sailing with Tazzie though.  In her first year with me, I lost count of the number of times she urinated on the carpet: a change of cat litter (away from those hard dissolvable pellets) and ceramic tiles instead of carpet soon sorted that, along with the realisation that having a cat flap on the litter box prevented her from using it. There was also one time when me and my first husband had been away overnight and we came home to find that Tazzie had peed & pooped in the middle of our bed (and somehow managed to turn the radio on too - must have been one hell of a party).

I'm sure that these mishaps may have put off other owners, but not me. I persevered, read as much as I could about cats and their behaviour and learnt lots from both Tazzie and Chivers.

Stevie & Tazzie sharing a snooze

When Tazzie was around 13 years old, she was introduced to Mina.  She coped very well and took living with Stevie and Jasper in her stride.
 
Fast forward over 18 years and my beloved Tazzie was an OAP with failing health. She had become deaf in the last few years and seemed to live in her own little bubble. I was always very careful when approaching her bed and used to tap my fingers on the floor, to wake her up gently and not startle her.

Her quality of life had diminished and her world had shrunk to the size of the utility room. She could no longer groom herself and despite my regular sessions of brushing her coat, she still had matted fur that she just couldn't reach.  In the last few days her health had declined even further, leaving me with the heartbreaking decision that took me to the veterinary surgery today.

It's fair to say I have been in floods of tears and am still sobbing as I write this.  I wanted to be with Tazzie in her final moments and, as hard as it is to see your pet and companion slip away, I felt I owed it to her to soothe her passing with quiet words and cuddles.

Some people may question why I'm crying and grieving, after all she was 'only' a cat.  However Tazzie (and like Chivers before her) was not just a cat, she was my cat and companion.

Over the last 18 years she has provided me with companionship, cuddles, laughter, unconditional love and has been a constant presence during life's ups and downs.  Through deaths, divorce, redundancy, life changes, marriage, house moves and ill health Tazzie has been there with a loud purr, an emery board tongue and unlimited supplies of affection.

Our pets provide us with so much and their time with us is fleeting. I will miss Tazzie tremendously and I'm sure that the hounds too will wonder what has happened to the black and white ball of fluff that used to follow them around.
RIP Tazzie
1992 - 16 November 2010 

The hardest decision of all

I can't believe that I started this blog over two weeks ago and haven't posted since.  The last two weeks have been very difficult as I had to face the agonising decision that all pet-owners dread..

Chivers, my beloved cat and faithful companion for the last 17 years, had  to be put to sleep on 29 September. Chivers has been with me through all life's ups and downs. Divorce, house moves, illness, job changes - he was always there and a very special cat.  He used to follow me like a dog, often meaning I'd have to pick him up, put him back in the house & lock the cat flap so I could go out without him following & risk being run over! He'd also raise his front two paws to let me  know he wanted to be picked up and cuddled.

Although I thought I'd prepared for the moment and spent the whole Sunday with him, nothing could have prepared me for the range of emotions I felt on the Monday when the inevitable became reality.

Thankfully my husband drove me to and from the vets. I really wasn't in a fit state to drive. I wanted Chivers last minutes to be peaceful and I definitely didn't want him to die alone. I couldn't hold back the tears in the waiting room, and as they know me so well at the vets, I was ushered into a separate area (I'm sure I was off putting to the other clients).

Unfortunately, Chivers last moments weren't as peaceful as I'd hoped - or as quick. His left leg was shaved and the lethal injection started, then his vein blew. The vet tried his right leg and the same happened. In the end he had to be injected in his kidney. I cradled him the whole time until he passed away. I left the vets in streams of tears and also covered in Chivers' blood.

I know it was the right decision - he'd stopped eating, lost a fifth of his bodyweight, wasn't able to enjoy his usual activities and was suffering with chronic arthritis, renal disease and thyroid problems - but it didn't make it any easier.

I decided to have Chivers cremated and picked up his ashes this week.  I've a keep-sake box which contains his collar, some locks of his fur plus some of his ashes and I've ordered a grave marker so he can be buried in his favourite sunbathing spot in the garden.

I dearly miss Chivers, he will always have a special place in my heart and his spirit will live on.  Each day gets easier and I still have Tazzie and the hounds to consider.

 Chivers & Mina snuggled up